Let's go back to when I was in middle school and my first kiss (well, at least the one that counted). I was always the shy girl. I was (what I thought) SUPER average and who was just basically "wallpaper" to everyone. But mind you, I was very involved in the arts department. I started out with dance class. So yes, before I did my music and songwriting and singing, I was a dancer. Mostly modern, ballet, hip-hop and some gymnastics (since I was a cheerleader back then - as well as during my last year in High School). I was also very active in the theater department. I loved improvising and my drama teacher loved me (as I loved her and her style). I remember she always brought a new doll to class whenever we saw her. She loved making bears from Build-A-Bear and dressing them up. One time, her bear was dressed as a cheerleader and we all thought it was cute. However, I can't seem to remember her name right now. Hmm...well, I hope I can remember and see how she is doing nowadays.
Oh man. Straying off topic. As usual. Anyways, I always thought I was "average" and fairly normal looking (as in - "I'm not pretty" - although I still think that way sometimes). I had two best friends then. Both of them were very skinny girls that weighed 90 pounds and whom the boys ogled over. We were considered as CHARLIE'S ANGELS. I was Drew Barrymore because I dyed my hair even back then (oh! I also had really long hair then too), and my other friend was Lucy Lui because she was the most Asian out of the two of us, and lastly, my other friend was Cameron Diaz, because she was a little ditzy (so to speak). I remember during our year in 8th grade, I started to break out of my "shy" shell. I started to speak up and finally got over my shyness and performed at an Open Mic show where I sang the song from MULAN, "Reflections". This was the official show that started my love for singing (and the fact that my family had always been musical). Anyways, that was the start of many changes in my life. My confidence peaked a little and I started to feel better about myself. Now, by being around my two friends back then, I always put myself in the back and watched them get praised by their good looks by everyone who knew them and saw them walk by. I thought I was so fat ogre whenever I was placed in the middle of them when we walked the halls. So, now...you must start to understand why. Well, first of all, they were like 90 lbs. when I was 100. I thought it was such a huge difference and I thought people weren't attracted to me, but only to them.
However, one day, a boy was transferred to our class. I'm not going to say his name out loud, but let's just call him..."PETER". So, Peter was transferred to our class (I don't remember why) from another "top smarts" class. We were in the middle of a stock exchange class work-out and he was placed in my group. You know that saying, "Things happen for a reason"? Well...you'll learn how and why. So, he sat down in our table of 3 people. I was very interested in the class lesson and wanted to do great in my work, so I was very welcoming towards him and talked to him and helped him out. I was considered a "geek" back then because I wanted to do good in my school work and I always almost had high grades in each class. Nobody else really talked to Peter, except me. And I guess he and I just clicked since then. Apparently, he then developed a crush on me. And here I was, Ms. Oblivious, still thought I was this "average" girl that no one liked or thought was attractive. Well, let's fast-forward to the good part (mainly because I can't remember every single detail of what happened). So, Peter basically only stayed in our class for a couple weeks (or was it just days?) and returned back to his original class. I still don't know the reason why, but let's just move on. Then, a couple weeks passed, and apparently...some of my friends from his class told me that someone had a crush on me. Lo and behold, it was Peter. I was quite shocked, but very much intrigued by it. I started to feel better about myself. And other than that....I was also nominated for PROM QUEEN (after deciding to hand in a last-minute essay on why I should be considered for Prom Queen). Things were starting to look up and I remember saying on my essay: "It shouldn't matter whether or not you're really popular or 'hot'. All that matters is that you believe in yourself and to be always be true." I think that was what got me a chance to participate in the running.
After all the whispers and gossip going around about me and Peter then, I decided to talk to my close friend who was a close friend of his. I remember this cute moment when they all told me, "Come by our classroom! Peter wants to ask you something!"
So, I waited with my friend at the door of their class, during passing time in the halls. Every person that walked in gave me a smile, as if they knew something I don't. Soooo...finally, I spotted Peter walking closer to the door, with his best friend next to him. They both had a smile on their faces, but you could tell that Peter was nervous about something. I started to get nervous too and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered like crazy. I swear my cheeks turned red. So, as they got closer, my friend told me to stay by the door because Peter was about to ask me something, then she proceeded to walk into their class. As Peter and his best friend approached the door, his best friend gave me a smile and sat down in his table. Peter was now alone with my by the door, with a slight uneasiness to his face. His hand may have been tucked in his pants pocket, but I'm not sure. All I can remember that the moment this was happening, it was very cute and I can still remember that feeling I felt; puppy love.
Peter started to talk to me and you could tell that his classmates were trying to listen in. So, he decided to close the door a little (or not, I can't remember quite well). After a few quirky exchanges and awkward smiles, he finally asked me the question:
"Will you go with me to prom?"
And what did I say?
YES.
And next thing you know, he had a huge smile on his face (as well as I) and said our goodbyes. And from what I can remember, he walked in to his class and closed the door and then a few seconds passed and all I heard was muffled "hoorays". I remember having this huge smile as I walked down the halls to my classroom. And from then on, Peter and I spent mostly all our time together, until he had to leave NY (due to his father's company moving). It was a sad goodbye, with mixed feelings. OH! And the whole point of this post was the fact that he was my first legit kiss/boyfriend. And remembering all this made me want to see how he's doing again. Hopefully, he remembers me. Anyways, after that, I tried contacting him for 2 years, but never got a reply. I'm sure it was because you need to move on with life. And things happen for a reason. I think he was brought to me in my life, at that moment, to help me realize that I had beauty inside me that I never saw before. And he helped me see it. So, wherever you are, "PETER", I want to thank you.
Anyways, that's it for now and story time. I must get some rest, for I have lots to do today. I'm meeting up with a great friend of mine who I met a year ago at THE GLEE PROJECT 2 CALLBACKS in L.A., Brittany Luna. She's amazing and she's an even more awesome musician/singer. Soooo...I must be off to dreamland (or at least try to). Have a great night/morning to you all. Thanks for listening <3
Much love,
MD
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